This is much bigger than me.

After three years of clean scans my August MRI of 2012 picked up the beginnings of a regrowth. By October last year I was back on Chemo and by April this year the growth has shrunk significantly. Emboldened by the response of the regrowth to the Chemo and Chinese medicine combo as well as yearning to find another way to shrink the tumour I chose to take a break from the Chemo for some weeks to see if only the chinese medicine could make some headway. 

A scan on the 28th of June, 10 days ago, revealed that in this period the tumour had grown again. This has come as a big shock and yet it was always a possibility. 

I have restarted my Chemo regimen as of last week. The Tumour had grown somewhat and was causing some discomfort, headaches (which I assumed was a bad sinus cold). 

I am also back on steroids to ease the swelling and side effects of having a bit of 'mass' in my head.

So for now, back on the chemo and surrender.

I will do three rounds of chemo and then scan in September.

The hardest part of now is to surrender to something I cannot control even though I've been so 'at it' for these last few years. I feel humbled and devastated in equal measures.