Take Two

10 nov
take two day one

I’m off to Kinshasa again.
Yesterday was my last day of my Yoga challenge, 5 days of yoga for 8 weeks!
My last class last night was also my 2nd worst class since I returned to practicing Yoga this year. My worst class being my first class three months ago when I wanted to run screaming out of the yoga class but didn’t. I exaggerate somewhat. I mean, why stay in a place that you want to leave with every fiber in your body and nobody is making you stay? Except yourself that is. Well, that’s it, isn’t it. And it wasn’t every fiber in my body that was screaming for me to get out of the hot yoga room. It was just the more vociferous fibers, my digestive tract, some of my temperature sensors were a bit freaked out by the unfamiliar temperature. Mainly it was my brain and it’s notions of what constitutes a good experience and what doesn’t that was freaking out. As it turned out, my being (that part of me that isn’t my mind) was more than capable of staying in the room, suffering no damage. In fact now that I’ve finished 8 weeks of 5 day yoga my being has experienced some very powerful moments of just being.
I tried to figure out why it was my second worst class but I couldn’t. It might have been an extension of my day which was uncannily similar to the last ‘pre-departure for Kinshasa day’. Except this time I wasn’t taking any medication and can’t attribute my rising panic and extreme physical discomfort to an adverse reaction to my malaria medicine. And as much as I can suggest various reasons, none may be true other than the fact that I just felt horrible all day. This basic fact, that I felt terrible with no reason or discernable cause, is almost harder to bear than the actual discomfort of the day.

Anyway, here I go again.